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When one of my sons died at birth, I totally needed support and found that most support — groups, books, counselors — assumed religious beliefs that I did not share, especially, that I thought I would see him again forever in an afterlife.  Many other bereaved parents I met coped by telling themselves “every day is a day closer” when the exact opposite was true for me and I needed to grieve the finality of his loss without shocking other people who believed (for example) that their child was hearing everything they said and being kept warm in sweaters.  As an agnostic, I needed to question everything and find my way in such a hard reality, and as a secular humanist to find even more meaning in my one-and-only life, without falling back on those beliefs and the rituals that go with them.  My article about my experience is in the Articles section.   This site is for everyone who “is” there or has been there after the death of a loved one, to share experiences and worldviews and dynamic ways of coping both with others and with the loss itself.

–Jean K., in Anchorage AK

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